Mission: De-Couch the Potato

So we are officially on day 2 of de-couching the potato (a.k.a. myself). Well I'm not going to say it was a complete and utter failure...it just wasn't a complete success. It was somewhere in the middle.

Success 1:

- I got up early on Monday & Tuesday to run!

Failure 1:

- It was only twice around my apt. complex and I actually thought I might die. For real I saw the white light coming towards me.

Score : Success 1 - Failure 0

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Success 2:

- I went to the grocery store (which I hate doing....the sweets aisle haunts my dreams) and bought ALL vegetables. Well practically all veggies. There were absolutely no sweets or pop in my cart. HUGE success!

Failure 2.1:

- I had to call my mom just to find White Wine Vinegar. Seriously I'm 24! I should know what and where these things are.

Failure 2.2:

- The little cashier boy had to ask me the name of one of the produce items I had picked up. I had to be honest with the young lad. Our conversation went as follows:

Lad: "Ma'am what is this? I need to ring it up, but I don't know what it is."

Me: "Ugh....yeah I don't know either. It was green so I threw it in the cart."

Lad: nervous giggle

Me: "At least we both don't know what it is!"

Lad: "Yeah, but I'm only 15...and a boy."

Me: "O okay. Let's call it parsley. I think thats green."

Lad: "Thats not parsley."

Score: Success 1 - Failure 1

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Success 3.1:

- I cooked! Yes....with my new green veggies! I have this handy cooking book I picked up somewhere. It's basically a cooking for dummies type of book. I mean we're talking basics here. There is seriously a page on how to crack an egg, which might be a good one for me to read because I have never (and I'm not exaggerating here) cracked an egg without getting shell in the bowl. Thats almost a talent! So I picked out chicken salad. I mean, really how hard can that be?!?

Failure 3:

- So it kinda stunk (I was going to use suck, but my mom doesn't like that word and I know she reads this. She also doesn't like the word piss, but sometimes it just feels right). Yeah....it was a pretty big stink bomb. I swear I followed the directions word for word. Ruby can even testify on my behalf! Lets just say that 50% of it was mayo. Now I'm not knocking mayo, but a little bit goes a long way! I even tried to give it to Ruby and she wouldn't touch it. Come on she eats her own excrement (my mom also doesn't like when we talk about bodily functions...so I tried to clean it up a bit). Thats when you know it's bad.

Success 3.2:

- There is a silver lining in my whole dinner fiasco. I cooked the chicken completely! If you know me well enough, you know thats a BIG success! Now if I have food poisoning tomorrow I'm going to have to revoke this success point.

Score: Success 2 - Failure 1

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So all-in-all my successes outweigh my failures. Hopefully tomorrow night's menu will go a bit more smoothly. Any easy meal suggestions that I can't muck up would be greatly appreciated :) I need some cooking success or I might just have to give up an hire a chef.