Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Mission: De-Couch the Potato

So we are officially on day 2 of de-couching the potato (a.k.a. myself). Well I'm not going to say it was a complete and utter failure...it just wasn't a complete success. It was somewhere in the middle.

Success 1:
- I got up early on Monday & Tuesday to run!

Failure 1:
- It was only twice around my apt. complex and I actually thought I might die. For real I saw the white light coming towards me.

Score : Success 1 - Failure 0

Success 2:
- I went to the grocery store (which I hate doing....the sweets aisle haunts my dreams) and bought ALL vegetables. Well practically all veggies. There were absolutely no sweets or pop in my cart. HUGE success!

Failure 2.1:
- I had to call my mom just to find White Wine Vinegar. Seriously I'm 24! I should know what and where these things are.

Failure 2.2:
- The little cashier boy had to ask me the name of one of the produce items I had picked up. I had to be honest with the young lad. Our conversation went as follows:
Lad: "Ma'am what is this? I need to ring it up, but I don't know what it is."
Me: "Ugh....yeah I don't know either. It was green so I threw it in the cart."
Lad: nervous giggle
Me: "At least we both don't know what it is!"
Lad: "Yeah, but I'm only 15...and a boy."
Me: "O okay. Let's call it parsley. I think thats green."
Lad: "Thats not parsley."

Score: Success 1 - Failure 1

Success 3.1:
- I cooked! Yes....with my new green veggies! I have this handy cooking book I picked up somewhere. It's basically a cooking for dummies type of book. I mean we're talking basics here. There is seriously a page on how to crack an egg, which might be a good one for me to read because I have never (and I'm not exaggerating here) cracked an egg without getting shell in the bowl. Thats almost a talent! So I picked out chicken salad. I mean, really how hard can that be?!?

Failure 3:
- So it kinda stunk (I was going to use suck, but my mom doesn't like that word and I know she reads this. She also doesn't like the word piss, but sometimes it just feels right). Yeah....it was a pretty big stink bomb. I swear I followed the directions word for word. Ruby can even testify on my behalf! Lets just say that 50% of it was mayo. Now I'm not knocking mayo, but a little bit goes a long way! I even tried to give it to Ruby and she wouldn't touch it. Come on she eats her own excrement (my mom also doesn't like when we talk about bodily functions...so I tried to clean it up a bit). Thats when you know it's bad.

Success 3.2:
- There is a silver lining in my whole dinner fiasco. I cooked the chicken completely! If you know me well enough, you know thats a BIG success! Now if I have food poisoning tomorrow I'm going to have to revoke this success point.

Score: Success 2 - Failure 1

So all-in-all my successes outweigh my failures. Hopefully tomorrow night's menu will go a bit more smoothly. Any easy meal suggestions that I can't muck up would be greatly appreciated :) I need some cooking success or I might just have to give up an hire a chef.


  1. Its okay, I call my mom sometimes when I can't find things in the grocery store. Also, love the convo you had with the checker guy. He totally got you on that one!

  2. At least you knew parsley is green!! I'm so proud, Betty!!